27th of February

I'm doing ok, started the third week with a sore mouth it's getting really hard to eat now,  plain food is the best but to be honest everything is hard to eat, but I was told this would happen but I don't think you can really be prepared for this. 

It was Dads Birthday at weekend so we went through to surprise him, I really can't believe all what has happened in 1 year, this time last year we were all celebrating his 70th and enjoying life to the full, remember to enjoy everyday as it is your last xxx

So today the kids were off school so this happened, waiting for my turn at Weston Park. 

 

 How lucky I'm I that my kids were allowed to see what happens to mummy each day. 

 

    Kristian even wore my mask xxx

 

 And guess what so did Franchesca xxx

 

They watched me be locked into the table, they moved me in to position. 

 Then they watched me have treatment from outside apparently they could see my bones lol xxx

How amazing is all that and now my kids fears have disappeared about what's happening to me each day, I feel so much more at ease, one happy mummy xxxx

Lots of love 

Amanda xxxxx

23rd of February

Nearly at the end of the 2nd week of radiotherapy its going quick, it doesn't seem two minutes ago I was just starting. I'm very sleepy today though I don't seem to have the energy but I'm not going to let it beat me. 

Woke with the worst headache ever but had some pain relief and it went. The mouth is very sore my gums really hurt and I've hit the dry mouth stage but this is all normal. 

The journey to Weston park today wasn't very nice with the winds but Pete got me there in plenty of time, had my weekly bloods taken and had a scan all ready for my review and tomorrow with Dr Foran. 

Franchesca and Kristian have both got upset at different times this week about me being ill they have both  asked if I will get better, of course I've reassured them that I am, it's so hard watching my babies cry and worry that their mummy is going to die, Im so lucky to be able to tell them I'm not going to die and I will get better. 

I was telling the nurses about the kids and that I was too ill to bring them on the open evening, they have said I can take them anytime and they will show them what happens when I go, they can go in to the room where I have the radiotherapy then they will take them out and they can stand with them and watch me on the screen while I have the treatment how kind is that so hopefully they will come with me very soon, hopefully this will help with their fears poor little things I so wish I could make it all better for them. 

I came home from hospital today, to be greeted by beautiful gifts and flowers from my lovely Slimming World Members today and to be honest they couldn't have timed it any better just as I was feeling a little low and exhausted boom they sent these how lucky am I. 

 

  How beautiful is the little angel xxx

So I say bye for now 

Lots of love 

Amanda xxxxx

21st February

Another great day been to hospital for treatment, Kristian been to sports camp again it's great to see the big smile on his face when he comes out. Girls been to forest school with Daddy this morning and then they spent the afternoon with me yippee it's the best feeling in the world to be mummy. 

The affects of the radiotherapy are definitely starting I'm certainly feel a little exhausted the burning on my face and neck is stronger today, and my mouth has a coating on it all the time and is sore my gums and tongue especially but is this good because it shows the treatment is working, I believe so xx

We've managed a little shopping trip for a present for party Holly is going to, the kids were allowed a toy each because they are being so good, well most of time haha. 

 

Franchesca wanted false nails how cute are these stick on nails 

 

Lots of love 

A xxxxxx

20th February

Good evening to you all, 

Life is good had a great weekend with my beautiful family, cleaned the house how cool is that, I spread it over Saturday and Sunday but all beds are washed and every room is sparkling it made me feel loads better, Jason thought I was crackers but it's great to be normal hehe. I even walked the dog right up to school and back which normally doesn't take long but it took me about 45mins but that's ok because I DID IT, and yes it knocked it out of me but this is what I need to do for ME and to get strong ready for the next lot of Chemo. 

Today was the start of the 2nd week of radiotherapy and I smashed it got up Kristian went off to sports camp at 8.15am and Franchesca went to the forest school, Jason dropped her off for 10am, Dad came for Holly she went off to their house for a couple of hours she was so excited she took her suitcase just in case she needed to sleep how cute, I think she was secretly hoping she needed to have a sleepover bless. 

Then my father in law came to take me to Weston Park we got there in no time it was a clear run, I only had to sit a couple of minutes and the nurses shouted me in and blast it was over and we were back on the road on our way home. I now can feel the burning a little but I will keep putting the cream on doing the exercises and 20 minutes mouth routine because this is what is needed. 

When I got home my baby came home and we played for a while, until we needed to pick Kristian up.

 When it was time to go get Kristian, I said to Holly let's walk with Rosie dog so we did and yes it takes me forever but we did it, AGAIN YIPPEE xx I was shattered when we got back, Jason was home with Franchesca and I think he thought I was going to pass out but a cup of tea and a sit down and I was fine. A cup of tea it still blows my mind that I can't drink coffee at the moment and I want tea not drunk tea since my nannan was alive, perhaps it's a sign she is here helping me fight. 

Lots of hugs and loves 

Amanda xxxxxx

19th of February

Hi Sorry I've not been on my blog for a couple of days, this 1st week has been really tough, I don't think I could ever have imagined that it would be like this, and I've been told it's going to get worse even tougher but I need to get through this. 

I got to the end of the first week of radiotherapy and Chemo, thank goodness my father in law took me to the hospital Wednesday and Thursday and to be fair to him he was brilliant with me looked after me like I was a princess, then Friday Wendy took me bless her, we were at the hospital for nearly 5 hours I had 4 appointments. 

The first was the radiotherapy which was fine, I've certainly got use to putting the mask on.

The second was with the dietitian who explained that I needed to try all the supplement drinks so we can decide what I like best but eventually they will be used to feed me through my PEG. I was also told I could eat anything I wanted and not to worry about the calories, for the first time i can eat as many chocolate freddos as I want, but I don't fancy them :( 

The third was with Dr Foran who went over my bloods and gave me a general once over and said everything was looking the way it should, she also gave me some new medication. 

The fourth was with the research team just so I could report anything that had happened. 

When I got home I Wendy took me to the shop because I thought I would try eating some rice pudding, it was nice to be normal for a few minutes but I soon felt quite weak, it shocks me how weak I do feel, the rice pudding hasn't been eaten but I will try at some point hehe. 

So far these last 2 days have been just resting and watching my kids be kids, spending time with Jason. 

Back on it tomorrow here's to the 2nd week of Radiotherapy. 

Love to you all

A xxxxxx

16th of February

Right I've made myself eat some toast had a cup of tea, started to feel a bit better, got in the shower yay washed my hair (not straightening it but doesn't matter) took some more tablets, never had as many tablets it's certainly crazy, and my biggest achievement is I walked the dog up the street, it wasn't easy but this shity Cancer isn't going to keep me down, my kids came in my bedroom this morning to tell me they love me, I cried as they left they shouldn't have to see me like this, I phoned my friend I cried, I then phoned my Dad and cried. I know this journey is only gonna get worse before it gets better but with the support and love  I've got I will get through this. 

Just wanted you all to know I'm feeling so much better. 

Off for my daily radiotherapy now. 

Thank you to you all for caring 

Lots of love 

Amanda xxxxx

16th of February

Just quick update from around 4am Tuesday morning I have felt really ill, vomiting and feeling so week had radiotherapy Tuesday and yesterday but hospital wanted to check me over again yesterday so ended up staying till 6pm, the doctors are wonderful and have changed some of my medication. 

I never got to help with the calendar interview so sorry but I couldn't but the worse thing was I couldn't watch the production but many of my friends sent me photos. 

I will do another update very soon when I can.

Love to you all xxxx

13th of February

Well today is the 1st day of smashing this Cancer out of my body radiotherapy and Chemo, yes I'm scared but I want to LIVE, I want to see my beautiful, amazing naughty hehe children grow up. 

So we arrived at Weston Park and a lovely nurse explained everything what was going to happen, I've been told this before but because they don't want you to worry they keep going over it with you amazing.

Then I was ask to go into the radiotherapy room, I was asked to lay on table I was so frightened but the nurses are talking to you to try and keep you calm, they then put the mask on and fastened me to the table, yes it's tight but I just wanted it to be over, I asked them to leave the lights on and turn the music up it was Take That album playing, the nurses left the room and the machine started then the song came on, Never Forget how perfect was that only thing was I couldn't sing lol. Then it was over, I was so happy with myself, I had done it, 1 down 34 to go,  I CAN DO THIS xx

When I came out Jason was there waiting and he had timed me 15mins it took and that will get quicker how fantastic is that. 

This is the marks the mask left because it's that tight but it needs to be. 

 We then went up to the ward, I met a lady who has the same Cancer as me and has started treatment at the same time as me, it's so helpful to be able to talk to someone who is having the same experience and same fears. Kim is older than me but because we've hit it off we've been put in the same room just a 2 bed room how perfect is that. 

Here's Kim 

 

Here's me and Kim 

 

Last week Dr Foran asked if I would talk to the press department in Weston Park, about the trial drug and my experience so far, this is to help Weston Park to promote how wonderful they are and hopefully get more funding, I said yes and they came to see me today, how exciting I was also asked if Calendar came would I talk to them, I said I will do anything if it helps get funding. How exciting something good is already coming out of the trial drug, fingers crossed they get extra funding. 

Have been given loads of anti sickness drugs, loads of fluids and I have to monitor my fluids in and out, I have to wee in to a jug how funny is that. 

 

And at 8.45pm the Chemo was hooked up and is now being running. 

 

I've been promised I will be out in time to be at the kids production and I will be there no matter what. 

Love to you all and thank you for all your support xxxx

10th of February

Back home again yippee, have been given some lovely drugs that have stopped all sickness but I need to keep taking them now, all the way through this treatment. 

Had 4 appointments today it's a crazy world xx

Been back to Sir Charles Clifford really pleased with how my teeth are healing yippee then went in to see oral hygiene to make sure everything is perfectly clean and she said my teeth were strong and great, all I can say is thank god I've gone to the dentist every 6 months, I would have hated to have had to have loads of treatment on my teeth as well as everything else. 

Also been for more bloods for trial and to make sure my levels are still ok and ready for the treatment. 

Then we went to see Dr Foran, she said everything was great I was very healthy and ready to start the treatment it's crazy that I'm so healthy but yet I've got cancer. 

So Monday the Radiotherapy starts with the Chemo I stay in the hospital on Monday boo but it's a wonderful hospital and the staff are out standing so what more can anyone ask for, and I've explained that I need to be home for 5.30pm Tuesday for kids production lol bring it on. 

I'm gonna Smash This xxxx

Team Amanda 

Love and Hugs 

Amanda xxxxx

8th of February

Hi Everyone 

Woke up this morning at 6.45am and started vomiting after a while I tried taking some of the anti sickness tablets i had been given a couple of weeks since, no joy. While Jason was at  school with the kids I promised him I would phone Weston Park who after speaking to Dr Foran said they wanted me in straight away. 

We set off loaded with over night bag just in case I was admitted, pink bucket for any vomit but I really didn't think any more could possibly leave my body, how wrong was I. 

The journey today seemed to take forever and forever it was awful but Jason was just perfect he was my rock,, that I needed, it's times like these when you really do know you are loved.

When we arrived I went on to the emergency assessment ward where they did my obs, cannula was put in my arm and I was put on IV fluids and anti sickness drugs within about 15 minutes the sickness calmed down. I certainly wasn't 100% but I was a lot better.

Alison came to see me and was amazing, then Dr Foran came to see me and told me all about my bloods water samples, she said they had been in touch with the guy that had made the drug, and they wanted me to stay in tonight to make sure I'm not sick no more. 

I've had more sickness medication and have now been put on a lovely ward, I really would rather be at home but for the first time ever I'm doing what Jason said and listening to my body.

So I'm going to leave it there for tonight and I will catch up with you all tomorrow. 

These are my best friend at the moment xxxx

 

 

7th of Feb 2nd post

So as I said earlier I'm so shocked that I am only the 11th human to ever have this drug, yes it's scary but it's exciting too. Who knows what the side effects could be not just now but in the future but then who mows what anything could truly do to us in the future. This drug could, and hopefully will make future cancer patients radiation treatment work better. 

Today has been another long day all the same infusions have taken place, same amounts of bloods have been taken same obs, and wee samples (still not pregnant hehe). 

I had the same pains in my arm as yesterday the only thing different wasn't temp never went up. I have more bruises today from were Alison (bless her) struggled to insert cannulas into me, I've tormented her most of the day about how cruel she has been to me, but the truth is she has been amazing, looking after me like I was the queen. 

Sarah (research nurse) came to see the colour of my medicine as she had not been around yesterday, she said O my goodness it's a cool purple colour and it has glitter in it, this made my day. All my family and friends know how much I love glitter so it's true now I have glitter truly running through my viens hehe. 

So let's remember I've been given this drug to feed any side affects back good or bad, it's all part of the research. So far I've had swelling in vein it was infused 

into but has now gone down, and have now got a rash on my arm from elbow to hand, isn't it weird but interesting. 

Back to Weston Park tomorrow just for bloods. Also got Laura coming to check my PEG in my tummy all go. 

Its hard to believe that we complain about this service and that our government think it would be ok to make it a private service and make us the general public pay. 

Perhaps if everyone that reads my blog takes one thing from it, i wish it could be this think twice before complaining about our NHS and the staff that work with in it. If you have to wait a long time to go into your appointment just remember you don't know what that doctor, nurse, consultant is telling that patient. Don't get angry or cross these staff work so hard xxx

Night Night 

Love 

A xxxxxx

7th of feb

I'm the 11th patient to have this drug not 31st xxx

6th of Feb

Good evening, 

A very long day today, but the 1st and 2nd lot of the trial drug has been injected into me. 

We arrived at Weston Park around 9ish and was greeted by Alison the reasearch nurse and lots of lovely nurses, the pharmacy was told to start making the drug, I had my hands warmed in a heated pillow, this is to help my veins stick up,  because apparently my veins are lady veins (rubbish in other words hehe). 

 

 Jason stayed with me for a while but I told him to go home, I knew I would be ok and he needed to go to work xx

 Then Alison began put the cannulas in to both my hands of course they never work first time and she had to do them again in different parts of my hands, but the best thing was my Keith Lemon hand haha xx

 

Bloods were taken, obs were done wee sample taken and then at 11.15 it arrived the plum coloured drug how cool is that purple drug, it's all very exciting. 
 

 

 Alison took pictures for me to post on the blog hope you can see the colour, then it started being pumped in to me. The 1st dose,  it was to take nearly 1 hour to run as it started to go in to veins, the pain was unbelievable I had been warned it really hurt but you really don't know what to expect, I put up with it I really want this drug to work,  then I could feel it go up my arm to my shoulder, the pain stopped and my arm began to feel numb. 

Alison kept asking me if I felt ok but then all of sudden I felt really strange and felt like the air I was breathing was really thick only for about 1 minute, Alison was concerned because apparently I had gone flushed she took my temp and it had raised but with in 10 minutes it had gone down, how crazy is that. It carried on being pumped into me over the  next hour and I was never left on my own. 

When it had finished my obs were taken again bloods and wee sample. 

Then the next dose was infused into me through the sample cannula this time we kept my arms wrapped up warmed to see if it eased the pain and after the first little bit went in, I'm sure it really helped, 1hour later that was it both had been administered, then my bloods and obs, and wee sample was taken again and then the same samples had to be taken 2 hours later and then 4 hours later. 

I feel really shattered, exhausted and I've a few bruises appearing but I'm at home for the evening, back to Weston Park for 8.30am tomorrow, to do it all over again. 

If this drug works it won't be available for another 10 years so how lucky I'm I to be part of this first stage of this amazing drug in fact I'm the 31st person in the whole world to have had this and it's been developed by a English man. 

Night Night 

Lots of Love 

A xxxxxxxxd

4th of Feb

Had a bit of lazy morning with the family, it's great to just be lazy with everyone hehe,  and then we went off to Wildlife Park we go a lot as we have annual passes, I tell you something I have never been and nothing new happen. Today we witnessed the lions playing and one of the lions tormenting another lion and a lioness which was so funny, especially when the other lions didn't want tormenting. I never get bored of listening to them roar we are so privileged to live so close to this place. 

The kids love the place and never run off once or expected me to chase them round it was just perfect, the sun was shining what more can a mummy ask for. 

 Just a little picture to try and catch the crazy happy feeling going on hehe. 

When it was time to come home I said to the kids they could get a little treat from shop as they had been so good. 

I couldn't believe it my picture was back in the shop, I've been wanting this picture for nearly 2 years now but just couldn't justify the money. 

 All my friends and family know how much I love lions my dream is to go to Africa, I want to do the VIP tour at the wildlife park you can get really close to the lions I know it may seem strange to some people but this is me hehe. 

Jason bought me the picture and I can't stop looking at it, it isn't just a picture of lions, it's FAMILY its PARENTS LOVE FOR CHILDREN it's just perfect. 

3rd of February


Hi Everyone


Not wrote on the blog for a couple of days dont really know where the time is going,  Ive been getting quite tired dont know why cause I'm not working lol.
On the 1st of Feb, I had a wonderful surprise visit from Eric who I work with in the council it was ace to see him and talk work never thought i would ever say that hehe, its so amazing how much you really appreciate the little things, we all take for granted each day.

Yesterday was a very busy day had to go to Weston Park to make sure everything was in place and ready for Monday, Dad came with me which was nice, first I had to have another ECG all good on that, a wee sample was taken again I keep telling them there is no way I'm pregnant, I think we would all agree Ive done my bit on the kiddy front, bloods taken, weight and height they certainly are looking after me, then I had an appointment with Dr Foran we went through the trial and the risk of it again before signing the consent form, Im so excited about this.

I need to be at Weston Park on Monday for about 9 to half past, it will take the pharmacy 4 to 5 hours to mix the drug up on Monday and they wont start it until I am in the building how crazy is that 4 to 5 hours its proper exciting stuff, we really dont know what all these wonderful amazing people do to help try and find a cure for this awful disease. I dont know how long I will be there on Monday but its my small way of hopefully helping to find better ways of treating future Cancer patients. We left at 4.55pm rush hour traffic in Sheffield but again it didn't seem to be an issue, to be honest I certainly have learnt a lot over the last few months.

When I got home I had tea and then I nipped down to my Slimming Group to drop some bits off that the ladies need who are covering my group it was around 8.15pm by this time, secretly I was hoping to see some members but they had nearly all gone, in fact there was only 2 left which was a little sad but it was still really nice to see Julie and Ben and of course Lyn and Kirstie.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I intend to spend this last normal weekend with my beautiful children and my wonderful husband family time is what the doctor ordered hehe.

I really dont know if you all know but tomorrow is World Cancer Day 4th of February without us donating they really wouldn't be enough money to keep trying to find cure if you can please donate.


Night Night
Lots of Love A xxxxxxx